My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
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