Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
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