Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
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