the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
Randomize
