you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
I spilled a beer on myself, so I went back to my place to change. The city marshall was at my door with a warrant. That beer cost me 760 bucks.
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
She swung at the pinata with crutches
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
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