He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
