I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
Ya’ll! My debit card got switched with my boss’ at lunch today (both Red Wells Fargo)....I realized it at whole foods AFTER I ran it for $100 at Vanity Room getting my vaj waxed 🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️. Most awkward IOU ever tomorrow.
Randomize
