Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
Randomize
