That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
Randomize
