Kareoke will never be a sober sport
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
Randomize
