Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Randomize