Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
You know you're sufficiently drunk when the 411 dude just says, "Fuck it! I'll Google that shit for you, what movie do you want to see?" and proceeds to give you showtimes for 3 different theatres.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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