The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
Randomize
