carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
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