I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Randomize
