You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
Randomize
