you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
Randomize
