i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
Randomize
