I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
Randomize
