I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
Randomize
