just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
Randomize
