Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
