you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
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