My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
At least life still wants to fuck me.
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
Randomize
