I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
how do you play pong handcuffed?
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
Randomize
