apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
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