But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
my brother is so whacked out on percocet from hurting his legs that he started crying because his belly button was so cute
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
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