What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
when are you leaving homes?
it's 7:51. why the fuck are you awake at 7:51
I had a sex dream about Oprah.
go back to sleep
dude. it was a sex dream. about. Oprah.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
Randomize
