all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
You had me at "let me see your balls"
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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