at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
mondays should just be called national damage control day
I woke up after 12 hours of being wildly intoxicated, got jizz on my face, and woke up in a different bed than I passed out in. My makeup is still perfect. I'm writing Revlon a thank you note.
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
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