Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
im six kinds of drunk right now
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
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