I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
Randomize
