I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
