you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
