So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
I like to think it a success when the cops are called
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
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