Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
Randomize
