he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
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