do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
I just projectile vomited in a Methodist church parking lot. If Jesus didn't love me before he sure as hell doesn't now.
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
Randomize
