When my girlfriend drinks sangria it's like winning the vagina lottery
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
I DEMAND FORESKIN
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
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