is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
