why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
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