Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
should my penis look like a turkey
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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