just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
You are a genius and a whore.
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Randomize
