Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
I need a hoe opinion
go on
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
Randomize