careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
Randomize
