Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
Randomize
