This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
Randomize
