allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
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