Last night I broke through a door, was hospitialized, arrested, and threw my shoe at a bouncer. This summer is gonna be fuckin sick.
it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
Randomize
