Listen the way I know if I'm drunk is if I have stage fright in the pisser if I do then I'm not drunk! And I definitely still do right now!
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
Randomize
