I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse.
I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic?
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
Randomize
