On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
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