You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
Randomize
