my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
I just took what could be the most awkward shit in my life, which considering my definition of awkward and my experiences shitting, is pretty fucking awkward.
...
I was sitting there doing my business and the guy in the stall next to me banged on the stall and asked me how to spell picnic because he wasn't sure.
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
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