to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
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