I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
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