Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Randomize
