OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
Randomize
