Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
Randomize