Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
Randomize
