I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
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