do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
My first STD was from a foam party
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
Randomize
