then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
Randomize
