I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
