We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
WHO CARES HE GIVES YOU TOE CURLING ORGASMS AND SAYS YOU HAVE KISSABLE SKIN AND RUNWAY MODEL HAIR....WHILE INTOXICATED WITH HIS BEST FRIEND. AND THEN HE SENDS YOU CUTE SELFIES OF THEM!!!!!!! WTF MORE DO YOU WANT FROM LIFE!!! DIE HAPPY ALREADY LADY!!!
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
Nobody cheats on THIS.
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
Randomize
